you think u can get rid of me? i dont think so..

Hey people... So, this is my fresh new blog... Sorry for keep changing blogs... first n for all, i just wanna make it clear, i dont wan any rubbish in this blog k... had enuf of shits in my previous blogs...

so, this few days, had been a nightmare to me... last week, on the 19th feb 2010, i was having gastric, early in the morning on tat day, i had quarrel wif mom N the most fucking thing tat happened was , " Hello, Siti. I juz would like to inform you tat your service had been terminated due to your bad attendance which is 4 days mc in this 1 mth... Hence, you will not be able to get your salary for this month n you oso will have to pay back the amount of money tat this company had took out for you for your education in ITE. It is a total of $250 and don't forget, u still old me $100 bucks tat u borrowed from me to buy presents for your younger brother's birthday. thank you. bye." Isn't tat soo damn fucking irritating....! told wan n didi bout it a both were oso angried n pissed off aft hearing it... fuck sia...

till now, i donnoe wen to tell my parents bout it.. i noe tat mama will be heartbrokened to hear it as she really2 wants me to get the job n get a certificate in the business office skills... but.. tat is now left with dreams.. i cant imagine mama's face wen she gets to noe bout this.. wif baba making scenes aft scenes n mama havin other personal prob tat i couldn't mention in here, it is all making me crazy...! i noe tat these all obstacles is trying to see how patience am i but im not tat strong... i m no longer strong enuf to handle all this prob myself the way im used to in the past..! i myself hav my own probs wif my unstable health now... how shud i cope wif these things..?

I had tried hard to change myself but it seems, nobody appreciate it... it doesnt worth a little bit at all... everytime i tried to change myself to be a better person in life, things will turn out either wrong or something else will prevent me from changing... such as drinking alcoholic drinks..! i tried to stop but wif all these probs dat im facing, i dont think i could... wat i need now is just someone to lean on n to here every off my probs n help me out to solve it... as wat i said, im no strong animore..! pls ... if ever someone out there tat care to help me out, plz do help me... i do really need someone to talk to... even though u see me smiling, u will nvr noe dat tat was all fake..! im juz smiling to make others happy... n i dont wanna make those tat care for me soo much to see me cry n worried... haiz.... i noe it might sounds lame.. but wat can i say... tat is me.. n the real me, only afew people noes... not all...

hence, i will try my very best still to be a good gurl instead of being the real me in my past... i wanna turn a new leaf...